Australia! An extra DEATH on the barbie.

Growing up in Europe, I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to travel to many countries and experience their cultures. At the age of 16-17, I grabbed my backpack and over the course of a few years (we took sporadic breaks back home) friends and I made a circuit from Germany to the north through Norway,  Denmark and down through Amsterdam. From there we made our way to Paris, begging and busking to pay our way to the south of France. It was a little coastal town between Cannes and Nice called Antibes. All the rich movie stars would dock massive mega-yachts there because of the proximity to Cannes and Nice. Odd jobs were easily created in the form of scraping barnacles off these behemoths.

As the weather started to get colder, we migrated to Spain. I would read Tarot cards on the beach for tourists and pretty much scam them by telling them what they wanted to hear. Crossing Gibraltar to Morocco, hoping over Libya to Egypt and up through Bali and the Maldives to hit India, the USSR and finally back to Germany. It was an adventure of a lifetime.

There were nights sleeping in abandoned  bomb shelters from WW2 to escape tremendous storms, dangerous wildlife and Soviet troops eyeing us with suspicion. We survived and a passion for travel was born. When asked, “Where is your dream place to visit before you die?”, I would say “Australia mate!”. I still do want to go there, but if I ever go I want a guide/bodyguard. Have you seen all the things that can kill you over there?

Cracked always has list articles and hardly a week goes by without a list of 6-10 animals that can kill you in under 3 minutes flat. The native language there has to be SCREAMING. My passion for going there is slowly being eroded by the warm trickle down my leg when I read more about the local fauna. Here is my list of “Scary ass monsters of Australia.”.

  1. Saltwater Crocodile. Big, stealthy death mouths that will eat you. EAT YOU!mn_croc_attack_xtpe801
  2. Freaking SHARKS! Remember Jaws? Spielberg should have made the film there to save on that fake shark that never worked.
  3. Sticking with the water, Box Jellyfish. Before you say pee on it, that is a myth bro. These blobs KILL.
  4. Shit fucking SPIDERS. The Sydney Funnel Web, Bird Eating Tarantula and the TrapDoor Spider. I think ONE of these wont kill you, but I will not take the chance. FUCK SPIDERS in their spider-butts.
  5. Dick SNAKES. There is no Dick snake, but the Coastal Taipan (most venomous snake on EARTH), the King Brown and the Tiger Snake. Too many snakes. FUCK them. No don’t do that, it is illegal and deadly.
  6. Blue-Ringed Octopus. Seafood that KILLS. Is that barbie hot yet?
  7. Australian Paralysis Tick. A TICK (SPOON!) that will paralyze you!
  8. Stonefish. Some of the symptoms that could lead up to the possible death may include such timeless classics as: intense pain lasting up to 12 hours, nausea, tremors, abnormal heartbeats, seizures and paralysis. And just look at it. stone
    Australia has wonderful people, at least one will say this to you if you run into anyone of these monsters,  “Oh, relax mate! He’s not gonna hurtcha!”. Crazy Aussies I love you but you’re gonna have to kill a bunch of shitty creatures before we cuddle.

I have another article printed.

Another magazine and site, Occupy Healthcare really supports me has posted an article I did on EDS! Yay! You can go to this link and read it and PLEASE comment so I get invited back. They also link to this blog and Ed the Cylon’s hopeful upcoming journey.

My Article

#TheLetter and I need a JOB.

OK, I am just putting this out there because so many of you are following me from “The Letter“, I need a paying gig and the support the other EDS’ers give and help as much. If anyone out there has contacts with a rock themed website or magazine interested in hiring a disabled vet/writer/photographer, PLEASE let me know. 
 I am currently freelance and the only compensation I get are free tickets, swag, inside information and copies of the magazine. I have to foot my own travel and accommodations, set up everything for interviews and photo shoots, wheel and deal with PR people.
 Not looking to get rich quick, I just want some compensation and recognition for all the work I do. Sure it is nice to go to free shows and meet big rock stars, but it is hard work doing it all on my own when my only income is a disability check every month that barely covers my bills. I LOVE what I am doing now, I want it to last. I have so many things I could potentially do, but I want it to be seen.
 So, if you like my photos or ”  #TheLetter ” and have a lot of followers, or happen to know an editor somewhere, reblog this or introduce me to them. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I haven’t been using Twitter much and am not really confident of my ability to use it productively  but I promise if any opportunities arise from this there will be MANY more awesome photos and good posts, I think they are good, to come and you could help me stay in my Dream Job. 

Thank you Everyone.