J.J. Abrams must have the worlds biggest boner right now.


BONER!

Why are you thinking of J.J. Abrams‘ boner you might ask? Well if you have not heardJ.J. has been tapped to direct episode 7 of freaking Star Wars! I would have a boner, hell I will admit it, I have a huge boner. J.J.’s is much bigger though. Abrams gets to make the film that people my age and level of geekery have wanted to see since we were kids, but knew we never would.

Lucas went and did (shudder) episodes 1-3 instead. I am not saying I hated them, but episode 1 was bad(with exception of Maul), 2 was a mopey, flat acted romance, but 3 was OK  At least 3 had great action scenes, but the climactic battle between Vader and Obiwan was less than the legendary status Star Wars fans had bestowed on it. Noooooo!

Now, J.J. freaking Abrams, will be the first man to have directed a Star Wars AND a Star Trek film in history. Two of the most influential franchises on Earth, and he gets them. That my friends is instant Viagra. Watch out for priapism, if you go more than 3 sequels, you may have a major medical problem.

If you are a fan of neither one, first FOR SHAME, second to you this matters not. All I know is, he better not kill Chewie. OK, gonna go get some ice for this boner.

 

4 thoughts on “J.J. Abrams must have the worlds biggest boner right now.

  1. My main gripe for Star Wars 1-3, is that the actor for Vader, Hayden Christensen, just comes across constantly looking constipated, even in his romantic scenes. It’s like he’s trying to be a rebel without a cause (hmmm…was that a pun lol). Also, because filming 1-3 after 4-6 just means that inevitably some of the weapons, machines and tech in the past look so much cooler and more powerful than those in the future.

    • I agree with the constipation bit. It was as clumsy as “Vader” was as he stepped off the platform for the first time and bellowed that one word, NOOOOOooOOOOoo!! They tried, and failed to foreshadow Vaders FINAL moments, the “I want to look upon you with my own eyes.” with the mask closing and the red enveloping him forever. Hayden messed THAT up, looking more the scared child, or a relieved formerly constipated man.
      1-3, Keep Maul, kill the Gungan. I had to look up how to spell ” Gungan”. Shiver. Loose the romance, loose the diplomats BS, get to the epic clone wars Ben teasingly mentioned in 4. Generations wanted that war, we didn’t know what it was, but sounded badass. As we see from the animated show, more diplomacy and Jesus Maul has returned. Lazy.
      Also the “EPIC” battle between Ben and Newly crowned mini-Vader don’t pull off the scene in my mind I had constructed for decades.
      As far as the tech, well THAT is what I find plausible. The Republic was shining, then the Empire took over forcing many to flee. Galactic economies dailed, companies did not inovate and wer mostly under control of the Empire. Look at the places and ships, Ep4 Tattoine= Sandy backwater nowhere. The Falcon= a heap of junk, fast but old. The Death Star was cool, Yavin v was a jungle. Ep 5, we see a bit more, Cloud City looked modern AFTER the enhancements, Dagobah= Swamp, Hoth- COLD. But ESB was mt favorite . And ROTJ, Tattoine again Teddy Bead Ewok Jungle planet, we didn’t get to see Corisant, Nar Shaddar. Military complex in charge, not much advancement.

  2. At first I was like “NOOOOOO!!!” but I gotta admit he is one hell of a director. He has Star Trek, now Star Wars. I hope it won’t get weirder then this. Btw, I like your header.

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